remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
