It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
