Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
