operation harelip BJ is a go
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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