Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Me. At least after what I've been through.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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