do herpes really smell.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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