She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
