I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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