his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
We smell like vodka and hangover
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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