I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
