I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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