do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
