I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
