Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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