Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
