This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
