so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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