Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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