her vagine was all disorganized.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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