Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
