can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
