meet me or not, i'm out of control
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
