I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
