dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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