We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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