I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Small penises have feelings too.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
