Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
