You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
