if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
smell my finger.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
