try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
