So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
