I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
