He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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