Tell her she can't have a vagina
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i dont even know how to be here
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
