Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
