So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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