Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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