oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
