were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
