she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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