well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
