shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i think i have two assholes
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
