What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
