if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
