I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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