That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
