discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
