Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
