11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
