Nicole vs. Life
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
