I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
