What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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